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Jennie Chancey Responds to Titus 2 Cynics |
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My surprise upon reading Andrew
Sandlin’s response “Are working moms okay?”
to R.C. Sproul, Jr.’s
article “Feast in a box” could not have been
greater. Rev. Sandlin accuses those of us who believe that a woman’s place is
at home (serving as her husband’s helpmate) and not in a “full-time” job of
“inch[ing] toward...Phariseeism.”
Mrs. Valerie Jacobsen has already provided a thorough
portrait of the “non-working” wife’s role in the home,
the Church, and the community, so I won’t bother to rehash those facts. Suffice
it to say that there is no such thing as a mom who does not work — “working
mother” is a handy misnomer for those who have a “real” job outside the home in
addition to all they must accomplish at home.
What truly amazes me is
that Rev. Sandlin can state so confidently that the Bible does not call a woman
leaving her God-given, home-based occupation for work outside the home “sin.”
While he quotes the first portion of the famous Titus 2 passage, he neglects to
carry it through to the final kicker: “that the word of God may not be
blasphemed” (Tit. 2:5b). I don’t know about anyone else, but my dictionary
still defines blasphemy as showing “contempt or disrespect for (God, a divine
being, or sacred things), esp. in speech” and uttering “profanities, curses, or
impious expressions.” The Greek word used here is blasphemeo,
which is used elsewhere to refer to reviling the Holy Spirit. It is interesting
to note that
How does a woman blaspheme
the Word of God? This isn’t something we can just brush aside or take lightly
as a “cultural thing.”
A simple glance at the
domain which the wife is commanded to oversee and rule — yes, rule —
should demonstrate beyond a doubt that it is not possible to be an effective,
capable keeper at home while pursuing another (outside) occupation. The
Proverbs 31 woman has been considered the ideal wife throughout the history of
the Church. To some, she is a marvel; to others, she is a bane (how can one
woman possibly do all that stuff?). Let’s just consider
what this woman accomplishes as a “non-working” mother:
As ruler of
the home, the wife was entrusted with all of the management and stewardship of
the family estate. Note that the things the Proverbs 31 woman does (besides
providing for the immediate needs of her own husband and children through
meal-planning, creating clothing, etc.) all add to the wealth and productivity
of the family estate. This woman buys a field and plants a vineyard (verse 16),
augmenting the family holdings and investing long-term (it takes many years
before a vineyard becomes productive and profitable). And how can she purchase
a field? Because she has saved money from her own home-based industry, spinning
wool and flax (verses 13, 18 & 19) and creating garments she can then sell
to the merchants (verse 24). She is no idle consumer! When she purchases
something, it is because she has worked hard so that she can save and buy the
highest quality items (imported food, verse 14; fine linen, verse 22) for her
family and further invest in the family land. In addition, she ‘extends her
hands to the poor’ (verse 20), providing for the needs of the less fortunate
around her. (And it should be noted that her charity isn’t given grudgingly or
under compulsion but freely and personally out of her own hands.) Her
management of the entire household (including servants who work under her) is
so capable and thorough (verse 27) that her husband has absolutely no need to
micro-manage or worry about the state of things at home (verse 11). Because she
oversees a hard-working, productive household, she is not merely spending her
husband’s hard-earned money, she is doubling it and tripling it and
supplementing it with her own! She shares a vision with her husband for the
long-term health and well-being of her family and for the inheritance of her
children.
Regardless of whether or
not she has an empty nest or is childless, this woman is busy! She is,
first and foremost, her husband’s helper — not her children’s helper or her
servants’ mistress. The man who is blessed with such a wife can truly find the
Dominion Mandate an enjoyable challenge, because he has a serious partner on
the home front. What is a second income when you do not have a ruler at home to
manage and oversee the affairs immediately under her purview? But a “sin” to leave it and work elsewhere? Them’s hard words!
People will get offended if we say a wife working outside of the home is a sin.
Poor women who have to work will feel they are second-class Christians or
looked down upon by their stay-at-home sisters in Christ. What about women
whose husbands have abandoned them? But let’s try to look at this without
knee-jerking if we can. We are living under a cursed economy. We are not
living under God’s blessing. When the Church abandons “hard” teachings for
soft words, the salt loses its savor and is trampled underfoot. When we follow
pell-mell in the path of the “working world,” straining after the “American
Dream” income, we’re going to fall into the same trap the rest of our culture
is in: wives forced to work to make up a “shortfall,” debt, divorce, children
handed over to government schools, etcetera. And we’re in it — knee-deep. Where
are the older women who are supposed to teach the younger ones how to be sober
keepers at home? Oh, their children are all grown, and they have “nothing” to
do, so they’ve gotten “real” jobs. What about the women who are to be “washing
the feet of the saints” and “ministering to the poor.” Ummm...
too busy earning that second income.
The Body of Christ needs
its women! It needs
singles, newlyweds, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, “spinsters” — every last one
of them. And it needs them to embrace the role God has given them without
looking back. We have so much to do, and we have so little time to accomplish
it all. God has given us a great gift in calling us to the home. Our role is
not inferior because it is “unpaid.” Our role is not of lesser importance
because it isn’t out in the public sphere. When God created mankind “male and
female,” He showed us that it takes both “halves” to make up the whole of
humanity. That our roles differ is a cause for rejoicing and glory — not a
cause for shame or depression. When both roles complement each other
beautifully, we demonstrate to the world a picture of God’s divine image that
is breathtaking to behold. We demonstrate the union of Christ and His Bride,
the Church. Rejecting our roles or revising them to suit our individual tastes
and plans is blasphemy. I didn’t say it;
As co-editor of the BeautifulWomanhood.org site, I receive
dozens upon dozens of letters from readers each month. I’ve yet to hear from
one woman (aside from the militant feminists) stuck in a “real” job who doesn’t
long to return home. A woman working in a nearby post office stopped me one day
to ask me if I stay at home. When I affirmed that I did, she told me how she
wanted nothing more than to go home, garden, sew, and care for her family. She
feels trapped, because her husband has grown dependent upon the second income.
Is this blessing? God has built into women the desire to rule the home. It is
part of the Dominion Mandate. It is not Phariseeism
to proclaim homekeeping God’s standard for women.
This is not an excuse to feel superior to women in the work force or to look
down our noses at those who have been shackled into a “second income” and all
it entails (that would be sin, plain and simple). Rather, it is a call to be
extremely thankful for faithful providers (husbands, fathers, churchmen) who
care for the ones God has entrusted to their shepherding and to pull together
as a Body to help those not as fortunate. I am simply overwhelmed with
gratitude for a husband who cherishes my role and does not seek to pull me out
of it to supplement his income or take over his God-given role. I am a blessed
woman — not a superwoman, but the thankful wife of a truly super man.
Mrs. M.L. Chancey
is the wife of Matthew and the mother of five children. She keeps home in