Learning From a Titus 2 Woman

by Pamela Lancaster

 

It is Saturday afternoon and the rain drops have speckled my windows and are running down in multiple rivulets. But I won't complain because the rain is badly needed and it makes for a cozy writing time as I sit on my bed, which is my favorite place to write, with my coffee close at hand.

I am basking in the joy of having hosted my first ladies brunch in my new home this morning. Today was the first of what will be eight monthly brunches and study times using What Is a Family? by Edith Schaeffer. Our study time format will consist of a lesson presented by me based on the next chapter to be read in the book along with suggested projects to do which we will share at the following class.

I felt the need to reread this book and to be reinspired in the art of homemaking, so I invited the ladies of the church and community (ages 12 to 100) to join me and my daughters because it is more fun and encouraging to work together. (Prov. 27:17) The need to study, to reflect and to reevaluate my homemaking skills occurs periodically, usually after a major change has occurred such as settling into a new home and community. The last time I did serious study and rereading of this book was after the birth of Alice six years ago.

In my workbasket (not a literal basket but a concept parallel to a man's toolbox) I keep books or tools that I find helpful in accomplishing my dominion task of homemaking. What Is a Family? is one of my main tools and I have read it several times over the course of my nearly 28 years of marriage. Mrs. Schaeffer has been the main "Titus 2 woman" in my life, after my mother, along with a handful of close women friends who have "spurred me on to love and good works" according to their unique gifts and abilities. The fruit of Mrs. Schaeffer's life is good and therefore I can recommend her to my Rivendell friends and to you. She had a long marriage, raised four godly children who married godly spouses, and is blessed with grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

In preparation for this morning's lesson I reread not only What Is a Family? but in addition I read For The Family's Sake, a new book by Mrs. Schaeffer's daughter Susan Schaeffer McCauley. What a treat and blessing to see generational fruit as Susan follows in her mother's path in writing on the family, giving the unique insights she has gained over the years. Susan's book has been added to my workbasket tools.

A quote from Susan's book served as the theme for my talk today: "One of the most important aspects of life is the home, and then the community of homes." The Lord has brought 20 plus Christian families to live by one another in this area of Virginia. If this community is to be "a city on the hill" whose light cannot be hidden, it is important that each family has a healthy framework for living - hence the purpose of our study time together.

I know many of you would like to be able to join me in this study, and you can! Here is what I propose. You can buy the book What Is a Family? from us or from your local bookstore. Then on the 2nd Saturday of each month set aside 1-2 hours (we'll be meeting from 9:30-12:30 ET) to read the book, make some notes from the chapter, pray and ask God for ideas of what would be good for you or your family to work on.

I would suggest setting the stage for your time with us. Get out a tray, cover it with a doily, napkin or favorite piece of cloth, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and set out a little breakfast treat (maybe your favorite donut from the bakery) and don't forget a cloth napkin and a little vase of flowers. It is not selfish or indulgent to do something like this; it is quite the opposite. With a small amount of time made special and set aside for you to read, study, reflect, pray and grow, your family will be incredibly blessed. You will come away from this time renewed and better able to serve your family, having spent time with the Lord and with a Titus 2 mentor. We have the example of our Lord getting away to pray and be refreshed.

Some years ago Phil and I would take turns getting away alone for spiritual evaluation and reflection. There was a retreat center not far from us with private, little hermitages which were designed for one-person retreats. They were modestly equipped, but comfortable, and contained a bed with a handmade quilt, bathroom, kitchen area, a rocker with an afghan, a small desk and chair, and a front porch with a chair overlooking the Mississippi River - a perfect place to be alone with the Lord and to rest in Him both physically and spiritually.

For you to arrange your little time of "retreat" at home, of course you will need to talk it over with your husband and he will have to help you be able to have this time set apart for study and refreshment. [This is a good way for a husband to cherish his wife and to live with her in an understanding way as a joint heir of life (1 Pet. 3:7). And you can tell him I said so. : ) Phil]

Perhaps Saturday morning won't work, but don't despair. How about another day or time of the week? Perhaps an evening would work better for you. Some other ideas as you study along with us at Rivendell would be: invite another woman to join you, or plan a teatime with your daughters and read and discuss What Is a Family? together. I think 12 is a good age to start this kind of study as girls that age are eager to be included in activities with older women and this is the perfect time to capture this interest and direct it toward the goal of being a homemaker and mother. Another idea: you and your husband could read the book together, discussing areas for growth and needed improvement in your family. I could imagine a date night out or a date night in (a date night in is when the children are fed and given an activity to occupy them while you and your hubby have a quiet meal and time together). Simply pray and ask God for a creative way to join us in this study and he will show you a way (James 1:5).

The reading assignment for April is Chapters 1 and 11, for May it is Chapter 3, and for June it is Chapters 2 and 4. We are not going to read the chapters in order, though you may want to. I'll post the reading schedule each time I write.

I have been hosting ladies' brunches for years now, sometimes with studies and sometimes just for fun! I love planning the menu, thinking of a theme, and then decorating the table and the house. I even love cleaning the house and cleaning up afterwards. This time my daughters (ages 21,16, and 12) planned and carried out the brunch since they are included in the study and they were eager to do some of the fun and creative stuff. They picked the menu, made the food, cleaned most of the house, set and decorated the tables and buffet using an art theme for this lesson. While it was hard to let go and let them do this (they will tell you I didn't completely let go as I still had to suggest a few decorating ideas; but I was pretty good) it was fun to see them create an inviting, beautiful, and delicious atmosphere for our guests. I spent my time reading and working up the lesson.

I share this with you because I have arrived at the time of life where I am not only seeing but benefiting from my family harvest, and it is such an encouragement. Over the years I have had very few examples to look to for encouragement, and there have been times when I have wondered if I would make it through the day, let alone have a good harvest in time. Would it be worth the effort I was putting into creative homemaking? The answer is a resounding, "YES!" I want to encourage you to keep doing good, to not give up because in time you will reap a good harvest if you are faithful to your homemaking tasks of today and keep your focus on our faithful God (Gal. 6:9).

Mrs. Schaeffer ends chapter one in the book with this sentence: "It [the living art form of the family] doesn't just fall down ready-made from the sky!" Somebody (that is you and I) needs to consciously be working on making the family beautiful and showing our lost culture the way HOME. I hope you will be able to join me in this study. If you can, drop me a note and we will pray for you at the beginning of our time together.