That They May Teach Their Children

By Stacy McDonald

As homeschoolers we have come to the conclusion that we must teach our own children for various important reasons:

1. ...To insure that they are given an education free from humanistic, liberal and evil agendas.

2. ...To give them the freedom to grow close to us as parents and to their siblings without the poisons of peer dependency and ungodly role models.

3. ...To be in complete control of their curriculum and the way in which it is presented.

4. ...To be in control of the amount of time that is spent academically making sure that it is balanced with Scripture teaching and character training.

5. ...To be the one that actively utilizes the God mandated privilege (Deut. 6:7) of immersing our children in the Word of God every moment of the day.

"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 6:7

6. ....To keep them physically, morally, sexually, spiritually and emotionally safe.

I find it interesting that most homeschoolers agree with this when it comes to public and even private Christian school education, but when it comes to Children's Church, AWANA's, Youth Group etc. we forget God's mandate to teach our children and abdicate our responsibilities to others on a regular basis. Is spiritual training less important than Math? I am in no way suggesting that our children cannot glean Godly wisdom from others in our church, godly friends, speakers, teachers or missionaries. We may glean from these people ourselves. There is a difference between delegating and abdicating. In fact, if our children were not able to learn from anyone other than us, we couldn't allow them to listen to our pastor either! Obviously, this is not my point.

Every Christian parent must ask themselves these questions: Where are my children gaining most of their spiritual training? What authority figure do our children look to for Godly advice? Is it their youth pastor? Who do they memorize Scripture for? Is it their AWANA's leader?

Several years back, we were in a church that had an AWANA's program. We thought this program was wonderful. It had all the features of a great "program." Scripture memorization, teamwork, dedicated leaders teaching authority and obedience and workers attempting to enforce respectful behavior etc. One of the first problems we noticed was that when we arrived at church our children were all sent in different directions to rush to their individual, age segregated AWANA's classes. We have a large family, so it was difficult to "escort" each child to his/her individual class. I spent most of my time in the nursing mothers room and didn't even know who all of the teachers were by sight, much less by name. We were overwhelmed. In most cases, we entrusted our children to strangers to teach them the Word of God.

It is so easy to fall into this mode. Really, it's laziness. There are those who are willing to teach and we are tired from long nights of nursing or a long week of homeschooling and taking care of our families. It makes it so easy to send them away at church when they seem to be teaching solid doctrine with good works. But how is this affecting our children and our
families?

One thing to consider is what will happen if one of these "leaders" falls into false doctrine or has a moral failure? Do you honestly REALLY know the people who are teaching your children? Have you had each of them into your home and discussed in detail what they believe? Have you been in their home to get a sense of how they live? Do you even know their last name or WHERE they live? What if one of these "leaders" already has your child's heart? How will this affect your child?

I have seen children (particularly youth age) become fiercely loyal to a youth group leader and completely ignore the teachings or wishes of his parents. I realize there are those youth group leaders that sincerely have a heart for the youth and understand that God ordained the parent as the ultimate earthly authority over his children. They may even attempt to point the children back to the parents' authority when there is a serious issue concerning the child, but the very fact that he/she went to a youth group leader, instead of his/her father, shows where his/her trust lies. Shouldn't the parents know about an "issue" in the child's life BEFORE the youth pastor knows? Chances are, if the father hadn't abdicated his role to begin with, there wouldn't be any serious "issue" to address.

When families are divided and sent to different corners of the church, this also opens the door for peer dependency. Children start to look to their friends for guidance on relationships, dress, moral behavior and the opposite sex. If he has a question about God, he typically asks the youth pastor. Isn't this where most of his spiritual teaching is coming from
anyway? Even his parents must think the youth pastor has all of the answers or he wouldn't send him there to be taught, right? This is the message we're sending our children. Do the youth at your church dress more like each other or their parents? Some may tell you that all children want to follow fads and dress alike. I would beg to differ. It does not have to be this way...it shouldn't be this way. A child who emulates his friends rather than his parents may be peer dependent.

The father should rule well his own household. The majority of training and influence should come from the head of the home. Whether or not this is done effectively will affect generations.

I thought this was interesting to contemplate: Gen 18:19-22 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.
And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.

This is what Matthew Henry had to say about this verse and about a husband/father's duty before God, to his household:

"As a very bright part of Abraham's character and example. He not only prayed with his family, but he taught them as a man of knowledge, nay, he commanded them as a man in authority, and was prophet and king, as well as priest, in his own house. Observe, First, God having made the covenant with him and his seed, and his household being circumcised pursuant to that, he was very careful to teach and rule them well. Those that expect family blessings must make conscience of family duty. If our children be the Lord's, they must be nursed for him; if they wear his livery, they must be trained up in his work.

Secondly, Abraham took care not only of his children, but of his household; his servants were catechized servants. Masters of families should instruct and inspect the manners of all under their roof. The poorest servants have precious souls that must be looked after.

Thirdly, Abraham made it his care and business to promote practical religion in his family. He did not fill their heads with matters of nice speculation, or doubtful disputation; but he taught them to keep the way of the Lord, and to do judgment and justice, that is, to be serious and devout in the worship of God and to be honest in their dealings with all men.

Fourthly, Abraham, herein, had an eye to posterity, and was in care not only that his household with him, but that his household after him, should keep the way of the Lord, that religion might flourish in his family when he was in his grave. Fifthly, His doing this was the fulfilling of the conditions of the promises which God had made him.

Those only can expect the benefit of the promises that make conscience of their duty."

Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons; Specially the day that thou stoodest before the LORD thy God in Horeb, when the LORD said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children. Deut 4:9-10

Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God. Ps 78:3-8

What better way, than teaching them ourselves, can we ensure that our children "might set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments?"

May God richly bless you as you set out on this most sacred mission